Before we got into finishing the book this evening, the discussion took a turn surrounding those age-old questions of “what are we doing here and why are we doing it.”
The answers that come to me right now are fairly simple. Even though they are not explanations that the intellect will be glad to hear, they do some how satisfy my need to know and also leave the door open for deeper understanding.
God or Love or Oneness or whatever term we might use at this moment, is not a static entity. It is continually evolving Energy. Because we are part of that evolution, we are also continuing to evolve. We exist as an identity and also as an “I am.”
The challenge that I run into quite often is to continue to think that my forgetfulness of who I truly am is some sort of error that my soul keeps making and that there must be something the matter with me because I cannot seem to align myself to the Divine truth of who I am all the time!
What I failed to recognize is that my forgetfulness is also an aspect of my learning and that my learning is part of my evolution and that all of this has been chosen by my inner being as a way of growing and contributing to the evolution of the whole.
It is not an error; it is a choice of learning and growth. In some ways it might be looked upon as my (chosen) curriculum for this lifetime.
And then for a moment there we dipped our toe into the infinite sea of awareness and realized that what we speak of as being one incarnation after another is simply our intellectual need to put things in the framework of linear time. Where is most of those who study mysticism and metaphysics realize that all of these lifetimes whether on planet Earth or other places are all happening now. Do not even try to digest that, just let the truth of it sink in.
A sheep found a hole in the fence and crept through it. He wandered far and lost his way back.
Then he realized that he was being followed by a wolf. He ran and ran, but the wolf kept chasing him, until the shepherd came and rescued him and carried him lovingly back to the fold.
In spite of everyone's urging to the contrary, the shepherd refused to nail up the hole in the fence. Anthony de Mello
I found great consolation in many of the parts of this reading tonight.
It is quite easy to get lost in what I call the “comparison trip”, not only comparison with others, but comparison to my idea or my sense of where I think I oughta be. My perception of myself or my spiritual state is simply that--a perception, and perception comes from my limited self. Sometimes, perhaps always, the best answer to these Eternal questions that touch my soul are, ”I don't know.”
Along with all of that, each one of our journeys, each one of our chosen aspects of learning, is profound and unique. And from moment to moment, we are continually asked to surrender, to let go of the thinking mind’s need to figure things out, and to know that no matter what seems to be going on inside or outside that we are in the realm of perfect knowing. It is emphasized throughout this section that you will receive at the level of your own readiness--not where you think you should be, but in the Perfection of where you are right now.
“As you confront these aspects of the self, you may be challenged for a moment, but we would only ask you not to go back and hide in the dark and cling the very thing to you that you say you would like to release. The tidal wave of truth will find its way there, as well, and will lift you and it to the Source of all things so that you may be reknown.”
As we continue this work all of our stuff our attachments our preconceived notions all that might hold us back at exactly the appropriate time and space comes bubbling up to the surface to be healed and to be released. this can cause a certain amount of discomfort physically and emotionally what is a teacher friend of mine likes to say when it's up it's on its way out. Like a fever reaching its highest point before it can break release.
“To die to the old life you have known is to be born anew, and the death of the old self, while not a death as you can understand it, is what is going on in a certain way. As we recalibrate you each in your systems, in the vibrations you have chosen to operate as, what is null and void is in release. And some of you may be experiencing this in the physical self or the emotional self as weariness or pain or loss.”
Throughout this section, as well, in alignment with our sense of the unique aspects of our journey, is also the instruction to let go of the expectations you might have of how the results of your growth or your evolution are going to show up. It would be like praying for something and having a preconceived notion of how that prayer is going to be answered. And so we are focusing on this one spot here when the answer to that prayer is happening all around us but we cannot see.
“Now their experiences may vary. Their expectations of what the experience should be in some ways claims them in a limited manner that may actually preclude the gifts from being received that we are offering. But still they receive on a level of vibration, on the level that they can hold of the truth of their being that is always here as them.”
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“In this choice to be as my True Self, I align all choices to the authority of the True Self so all that I choose may be in agreement to truth. I am Word through this intention. Word I am Word.”
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